Choose Love Or Sympathy But Never Both

^^^Those are lyrics from an underrated Fall Out Boy song, and they have a rich, nuggety center.

If you read this, you’re most likely an introvert, like myself.

Extroverts like stimulation. Actually, more than like. Stimulation is as necessary for the mental well-being of an extrovert as is proper sleep.

While quiet tasks such as scrolling through WordPress makes us hot and bothered, extroverts need more to get their blood going.

The asshole that you can hear all the way from the other side of the bar is always an extrovert.

The asshole who hits the refresh button as if it secretes heroin is always an introvert.

I am an introvert.

I’m 99.9% sure that you’re an introvert.

That person we call obnoxious while secretly coveting their command of an open space is an extrovert.

And while you or I may take a class on public speaking and spend each night working on changing tones while telling a story to keep the listeners engaged…

storytelling will never come naturally to us.

Why is this important?

Life is complex and nuanced.

So complex that certain paradoxes are true.

For example, there are stories out there where people call being imprisoned for 30 years for a crime they didn’t commit “glorious.”

How can that be? I’m claustrophobic so a long prison sentence is the scariest idea I can think of.

And yet, I did spend a few days in jail (5 total).

Most recently, I spent one night 2 Summers ago.

I’ve had trouble sleeping for years now.

That night? I slept like a baby on stone.

Oddly enough there was a xanex feeling of calming down once there weren’t anymore options. All I could do was stand and stare or sleep. So, my mind turned off.

So does that story of the prisoner stuck inside for 30 years make a bit more sense?

It’s true that the path to being content (happiness) in any situation is what you focus on. But obviously that is very hard to do in the real world. So that peace of mind usually comes from practicing meditation for some time.

Anyway, I’m digressing.

In a world where we try to blur the lines on everything to keep everyone’s feelings in tact, sometimes being grounded in reality is the answer.

You can’t know what you’re capable of without knowing what you aren’t.

And sometimes knowing who you are is knowing who you are not.


If you feel ashamed of being an introvert, or if you really envy that person at the bar…

You need to get over it. Because you can’t change reality. That’s always a losing battle.

So why those lyrics?

Well, oddly enough we create our own realities as well. That’s what makes life nuanced. You have to figure out what you can and cannot manifest.

These lyrics have been very true in my short stay on this planet.

You can grieve…for a period. Your friends will be there if they’re good ones.

But even good friends can’t handle someone constantly in despair.

And you can’t choose a middle ground between despairing and laughing.

Your friends and the public will simply get annoyed without being able to figure out your moods, and you’ll eventually labeled as “essentric.”

I felt it was heartless when my father would tell me to shake off a tragedy growing up, but there’s wisdom I see in it now.

Try it yourself if you think I’m full of it.

Choose love tomorrow. Don’t say one negative thing to yourself or others. Don’t complain and smile whenever possible.

And I dare you to message me after and tell me you had a horrid day.



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