Your Personal Self-Esteem Bouncer

You can convince yourself of anything.

It’s not a question of will, but of mindset.

Positive affirmations don’t work because you need to be able to believe the affirmation in the first place so that cognitive dissonance doesn’t put everything back to its “rightful” place.

So, telling yourself you’re invincible and incapable of fault is a waste of precious mental energy.

But so is telling yourself you’re a piece of shit.

But the answer to negative inner thoughts isn’t telling yourself, “I’m not a piece of shit.”

NLP (neuro-linguistic-programming) tells us that our subconscious only deals in terms of positives.

Just as how when you tell yourself “not” to think of something, you somehow magically put yourself in a fixed state of only thinking of that particular thing, telling yourself you’re “not” all those horrible labels, paradoxically only reinforces them.

So the answer is as simple (simple isn’t a synonym to easy) as an answer can be.

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.

If you can’t think of a cheerful thought to categorize yourself, don’t categorize yourself at all.

Easier said than done I know, but there is a practical exercise to this. Don’t gloss over this merely due to its simplicity.

Here it is:

Once you find yourself thinking about something you shouldn’t be, imagine a vibrant, red stop sign in your head.

Do this each and every time you are able and watch as magically it becomes a muscle inside your subconscious. You’ll have created a bouncer for your self-esteem.

So next time when you fall short of a goal, you won’t do more damage than is necessary and will be able to separate yourself from what you do or don’t do.

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